Buckminster Skeeter: Wanna buy a watch?

Thursday, February 02, 2006

To Be A Scourge, Part III

I got to thinking about leaving my car in his choice parking spot. First off, my office is located near a not-so-good neighborhood. Not that anyone would want to steal my bucket, but I don't want to show up to work to find my Volvo sans wheels.My better idea was to leave the spot open to make sure he had access - thereby assuring the placement of my target. The spot is nice and shady - under a sprawling tree of some sort (I suck at plant identification). I ventured to the roof one day and found that the spot was in range but ran into a glitch. The tree cover made it hard to get a good open shot - doable, but hard. Also bird poop is not very fling-able. It's far too runny. I tried a couple of test runs with a plastic spoon managing only to splatter my sleeve when I let loose the catapult. My dry cleaner will find a new challenge this week. I considered bringing a few choice cat turds from the litter box at home. Problem is they're hardened and grainy with litter within minutes of deposit. Not to mention the fact that I'd have to tote around cat shit during my morning commute. Not a good idea.I got a cup of coffee, sat on the bench facing the parking lot pondering.... Scheming. EUREKA!!!!! The next day I put my plan in motion.
I went to the Wild Bird store and purchased 2 corn cob looking things that were covered thick with bird seed. I tied the ends together so they looked kind of like numchucks with a long string. After work, when the lot was cleared, I walked over to the tree and started tossing. The goal was to get the Bucky Bird Bait (cute, isn't it) positioned on a thick branch directly over the parking spot. Since the tree is relatively low I nailed it in about 6 throws. Perfect placement. The following day he parked there. I was so excited!!! By the time I checked in the late afternoon (3:00ish) there was only a few droppings on his hood. Nice, but not the deluge I was hoping for. The Bucky Bird Bait was totally consumed by the next morning.

I think I'm on to something here. I will have to go back to the Wild Bird store and re-think my bait selection. It can be done. It will be done.


Blogger Buckminster Skeeter said...


Never assume.

6:52 AM  

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