Buckminster Skeeter: Wanna buy a watch?

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Air Instruments

I have recently aknowledged my exceptional air instrument skills. It comes from 23 years of continual excercise and fine tuning. I believe if everyone played air instruments going out in public would be much more entertaining than it already is. In effort to promote this art form I have formed the AIPA - Air Instrument Players Association. You can start your own local chapter by sending me a non-refundable cash fee of $750. You will receive a chapter start-up kit which includes the following:

5 AIPA embroidered hoodies
5 AIPA logo window stickers
5 copies each of our instructional videos- Fundamentals of Air Instruments, guitar, bass and drums.; and Intermediate Air Instruments, form variation, style, and body language.
5 copies of our book Play Air! It's Free.

excerpt from Chapter 1: Introduction to the art of Air playing
"It is generally considered acceptable to air play the guitar (any variety), bass, banjo, mandolin, or drums. Various horns are o.k. in the right setting. Piano, harp, and accordian should be avoided at all cost unless you are at a fundraiser for certain liberal rights groups."

Much thanks to Carl Willow for sending us a how to guide on his signature move - the lip curl, chicken head, low slung knee bass.
' The preferable music for lcchlskb is in the vain of Black Sabbath, Van Halen, various old school rap, or blues rock. A slow to mid paced bass line involving a good bit of repetition is perfect. The lcchlskb works best when seated as the knee is presented so that the right hand (for right handed players) lays with the finger tips in the middle of the knee. The right arm should be parallel to the leg, about 3-4 inches above. Prop your right hand up with your thumb, leaving the the index and middle finger free to pluck. When plucking, dig a little into the knee so that there is a slight thump with each stroke. Hold the left arm with your elbow pointing more or less straight forward. The arm should bend 90 degrees at the elbow and the hand should be pointing back towards your left ear. While plucking with your right hand, alternate lowering your left hand fingers as if holding down a string on a fret. Your lips will have a half pucker, half 'trying to smell your upper lip' position. Move your head forward and backwards in a chicken pecking motion. '

Join us next week as we explore the subtle dynamics of air guitar soloing.

3 Comments:

Blogger Dr. Metal said...

This is totally freaky as far as our intellectual union despite being separated by miles. About a week ago I started researching for an upcoming blog. . . on air guitar. I found out that there is an international air guitar competition. I was going to invite you to the show in Boston. What a blast. Anyway, go look at

http://www.airguitarusa.com/

I guess there's no need for me to blog about this now.

5:40 PM  
Blogger Buckminster Skeeter said...

did you check out videos of the championship.

http://www.omvf.net/2005/ilmakitara.php?lang=en


That's some funny shit.

6:02 PM  
Blogger mugwump said...

My check is in the mail. This is probably as close as I would come to having the patience to learn an instrument. I'm quite good at "faking it" in other areas, so why not? When I was a kid I used to pretend I was playing bass with my band, Echo, when the theme song to Little House on the Prairie came on (I think it was Saturday nights). Anyway, it struck my dad and my brother as hilariously funny. I don't understand.

6:39 AM  

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