Buckminster Skeeter: Wanna buy a watch?

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

The hotel takes the high road

I found a card - I hadn't noticed in my previous 3 stays - in the bathroom of the hotel.

it reads:

"Dear Guest, Due to the popularity of our Guest Room items, our Housekeeping Department now offers these items for sale.

Bath Towels - $10.00
Hand Towels - $4.00
Face Cloths - $2.00
Blankets - $35.00

Each Guest Room attendant is responsible for maintaining the Guest Room items. Should you decide to take the articles from your room, instead of obtaining them from the Executive Housekeeper, we will assume you approve a corresponding charge to your account.

Thank You"

This is the soft way of saying "WE KNOW YOUR STEALING OUR SHIT - AND WE'LL CHARGE YOU". Why not just leave a friendly reminder to NOT REMOVE ANY HOTEL PROPERTY? These towels are sub par, at best. No one, I say No one, will approach the 'executive housekeeper' and make a request to purchase these things. They know that. So why try to sugar coat it. Just tell me not to steal your shit.

I've taken my share of hotel items over the years. And not just the free stuff - shampoos, lotions, soaps, hairnets (always take 'em, never use 'em), and any other item that looks like it is disposable. I've even commandeered towels from time to time when I was single and broke. But who would have the balls to take a blanket off the bed? Surely housekeeping would catch that I would think. At one hotel I used to stay at on a regular basis I used to always take a few hangers. They were nice - wood, sturdy - good stuff. They caught on eventually and switch to hangers with little tiny hooks which complimented their new, small diameter hanger bars. But never a blanket.

This is the 4th room I've had here and I've noticed that every room has the same 3 pictures on the walls. One is a depiction of an English fox hunt. One is an American version, circa 1800's. One is a nice print of a 1600 era map of the North Eastern coast of the US. Just for shits and giggles I've been considering finding similar prints (on eBay) of the fox hunt scene. Maybe doctor it up a little - give one guy horns, another guys balls showing, a three legged dog, someone shooting a bird - nothing real obvious, but noticeable if you really look. I could make the switch every time I stay here (which will be often over the next few months). It's not hard to take a print out and re-frame another. I could get maybe 10 Bucky prints in this hotel. I wonder if anybody would notice?


Blogger Dr. Metal said...

Nitwit: I struggled with those new hangers on my most recent stay. The little "nodes" (if that's what you call them) were just too small, so everytime you grazed one of the hangers, it fell. One broke on a particularly hard fall. I just wonder if they are losing more hangers, now, to breakage than they ever were to stealing. It seems to me that they could solve the whole problem if they just put in those crappy iron ones that all of us have a zillion of from the drycleaners.

Recommendation: I encourage you, at some point over the course of your stay, to call the front desk and ask to speak to the "Executive Housekeeper." Explain that you've really become "acquainted" and "attached" to your room 216 "blankie" and that you'd like to inquire about purchasing it. If you *do* get someone, I then recommend some haggling over the price. My guess is that they'll knock off a couple of bucks for you.

4:15 AM  
Blogger mugwump said...

I think what was written on the card and left in the bathroom is clever and funny. It's not a "soft" way of letting the guest know that he will be charged for any stolen items, it's an ingeniously sarcastic way. I'm impressed with whoever wrote it.

Yep, if you notice the pictures on the walls and write blog entries about toilet paper instead of choosing to partake in the rampant immorality of our culture during your hotel stays , then I am afraid I must label you as "good guy". Sorry, I know that's a dirty word to you.

4:24 AM  

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