Buckminster Skeeter: Wanna buy a watch?

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Video overload

Long ago there was Broadcast Television which was basically 4 channels - NBC, CBS, ABC, and PBS. They were transmitted via those large towers that spread the signal 'over the air'. You needed a good set of rabbit ears to pick them up with decent clarity. Then along came cable. These companies sent a hard wire directly into your house, eliminating the need for antennas and allowing for more channels to be carried. With this new technology channels of every kind started blooming - MTV, CNN, WEATHER, ESPN, DISCOVERY, etc.... All of a sudden there was more information available, faster, to more people. The cable companies dominated the video media landscape - they owned the hard wires and if you wanted cable you had to buy it from them. Fast forward a few years and we see Satellite television. Remember those gigantic satellite dishes you'd see in yards or up on a roof. Those things looked like your house was the broadcast center for a major network. Man, those things were ugly. And to pick up different channels you actually had to program the satellite to point to a different location in the sky to pick up the signal from a different broadcast satellite. Years later these colossal eyesore would be replaced by the sleek digital satellites - Dish Network and the likes. These dishes only have to point to one location to receive a digital stream of information containing a whole list of channels. So our main video sources at this point are cable companies and satellite providers. But now things are changing at a break neck pace. Prepare yourself for a complete upheaval in everything you know about home video.
Many things are happening. First - Telecom (that's telecommunications) providers like Verizon, Sprint, and BellSouth have petitioned, sued, and won the right to provide cable video via their own networks. Fair enough I guess, the cable companies stomped all over the telecom territories a few years ago when they started providing voice service. This means that you'll have 3 choices for video service - cable, satellite, telco. In theory the competition would make the service cheaper - but in reality the cable and satellite companies will just think of new ways to get a buck from you to make up for the bucks they lose to the telcos. Imagine being the local cable advertiser. One year you spend $20,000 to advertise with Cox cable which goes to 200,000 homes in the area. The next year maybe 75,000 of those homes now have Verizon "cable" and you have to spend $20,000 with Cox and $8,000 with Verizon to reach the same amount of people with the same number of commercials. It will get very frustrating for advertisers.
Now enters the internet. IPTV as it is called (Internet Protocol Television) offers something that people really want: The abiblity to watch only the shows or channels they want to without paying for "packages". I, for one, hate paying $75 a month for 250 channels when my family, combined, only watches maybe 17 of them. Internet based television will allow you to download and watch a baseball game, sitcom, movie, or new cast either live or recorded whenever you want, wherever you want. Every day data transfer rates get faster. Look at iPod video. It's been a big deal in the news the last 6 months or so that the networks are selling episodes of prime time TV shows to Apple for iPod downloads. Millions of people have paid $1.00 per episode to be able to watch Lost or ER while they're on the subway or waiting in line at the bank. YouTube is a very popular video site where anybody can upload any video they want and you can download it for your viewing pleasure. Surely the internet will be the future of VOD (Video On Demand).
I predict a lot of confusion and 'flooding of the market' with all these options. What excites me though is the potential for mass information gathering. I'm not one to use the internet solely for entertainment purposes - sure I have some music/band sites I visit every now and then and this blog site entertains me - but most of my surfing is to learn something. Having information, anything imaginable, at our fingertips is such an advantage that I feel sorry for all generations that came before. How did they learn? When a song was stuck in their head and they really wanted to figure out who sang it how did they figure it out? When they had the urge to find a quick tid-bit about South American emerald mining who did they turn to? I can find out about anything I have the remotest interest in. Once the internet has fully taken over the video industry I'll not only have static web pages to learn from, but an endless source of documentaries, how to's, and other informational videos.

It's gonna be messy but bring it on.

Monday, August 28, 2006

Quipper Types

Quipper: One who quips on a fairly regular basis, for better or worse.

Insipid Quipper: One who quips regularly but is unimaginative or dull.

Witty Quipper: One who quips regularly with timely, relevant, and inspired witticism.

Quipless Wonder: One who never, ever contributes a quip.

Anti-Quipper: One who not only never quips but gets offended easily and argues factual legitimacy of a quippers quips.

Rebound Quipper: One who quips, but only after, and in response to, a more experienced quippers quip.

Missing Quipper: One whose quip would make sense were it to stand alone , but in the context of the situation has incorrect timing or relevance.

Erroneous Quipper: One whose quip makes little or no sense regardless of the timing, relevance, or context.

Left Field Quipper: One who very seldom quips, but comes through with one when unexpected, thereby surprising others.

Gutter Quipper: One who quips regularly but generally sticks to sexual or toilet humor.

Over the Head Quipper: One who quips, but with such depth and intellect as to not be understood by even the most well read quippers.

Auto-Chuckle Quipper: One who quips then immediately begins chuckling at his own quip, be it funny or not.

Dueling Quipper: One who directs a quip at a quipper with the sole intent of starting a quipping confrontation.

The Insipid Quipper

Everyone knows a guy like this. I have recently had the displeasure of having to be around an insipid quipper. The guy who always, alwayss has to say something that he finds amusing. Now don't get me wrong - I love good witicisms and appropriate quips - and if they are thought through and delivered well I'm happy to be on the receiving end. But this guy is the one who uses ALL the overused and abused one-liners you've ever heard: "See you later" - "Not if I see you first"; "Walk much?" (after tripping on something); "It's a small world but I wouldn't want to paint it". You know - that kind of unimaginative drivel. It's almost like he walks around just waiting to toss one out. Like they're all on the tip of his tongue just waiting to be used. Even worse, his version of sarcasm is juvenile. Good sarcasm is a beautiful thing. Good sarcasm requires intelligence to create and understand, proper delivery to avoid insult yet poignant enough to grab attention. His sarcasm is thoughtless minor insults. For example, the other day my wife and I were going to a really fancy, black tie dinner event. He and his wife came over to watch our kids. My wife answers the door in her evening gown and his wife immediately says "You look beautiful, I love your dress". He walks in behind her and just says "I don't" and walks on by. My wife, knowing this jerkoff fairly well, took zero offense at it and shrugged it off as his vain attempt at wit. Sad. I hate to see someone fail so miserably with sarcasm. It's like a professional baseball player watching a co-ed church softball team who really think they are the best players in the county. What drives people to be like this? I've been paying close attention to this for weeks now and I have yet to see anyone within earshot of him do so much as crack a smile at his remarks. He was trying his schtick on a waitress not to long ago. Not only did she not laugh but I think she probably put a loogie in his Diet Coke. And yet he struts around like he's the coolest cat in the room everywhere he goes. Why? Does he believe, truly believe, that everyone thinks highly of him? Does he not give a shit? That would at least be slightly honorable but I don't think it is the case.

Friday, August 25, 2006

Big Label Smarts

I would like to give my public accolades to Warner Brothers Records. Major record labels shunned the heavy metal world for years with few exceptions. But in the past year Warner has signed 3 of my favorite metal acts: Slayer, Mastodon, and Avenged Sevenfold. Atlantic Records has seen fit to pick up Shadows Fall.

in other news: Displeased Records, which recently reissued Whiplash's Insult to Injury, have placed more classics on their release schedule. This fall, the label will put out two discs by New York '80s thrashers Toxik (World Circus and Think This) as well as the sole offering from technical thrash band Disincarnate (which featured Death guitarist James Murphy), Dreams of the Carrion Kind. The company will follow in the first half of 2007 with three reissues by San Francisco death-thrashers Sadus — Illusions, Swallowed in Black and A Vision of Misery — and two by Canadian death-metal outfit Gorguts, Considered Dead and The Erosion of Sanity. ...

Find the Point - Lose Your Soul

I'm becoming increasingly skeptical about the concept of 'losing' ones soul. If there is such a thing as a soul is it possible to actually lose it? I may lose my watch or lose my wallet but that's because it is easy to misplace a physical object. I suppose I could 'sell' my soul - for what? I've never been given an offer for my soul. Perhaps it is not as valuable as I thought. I tried to pawn it the other day but I just got a dirty look from the toothless man at the pawn shop counter. Toothless people have a special place in my heart. I'm torn between laughing hysterically, feeling sorry for them because they were perhaps never taught decent hygiene, and champing at the bit (pun fully intended) to ask them how they eat a pork chop. Chops, as everyone knows, are smaller cuts from the loin primal cut. There are blade chops, rib chops, loin chops, sirloin chops, butterfly chops, and boneless chops. Do you know what kind of chops you're eating when you get a plate of pork chops? You better start asking. Do we eat beef chops? In Korea dog meat is common and I understand it tastes good. The troubling part is that dogs are beaten to death, over a long period of time, to make them more tender. This is fucking barbaric! Those slants who practice this should have their souls lost. Notice how I use the epithet 'slants' here. I find it perfectly reasonable to throw out a racist slur when describing the less desirable of any race. I may, for example, dine with a fellow business partner who just so happens to be an Indian. But the Dot-Headed Odor Monkey waiter just spilled soup on my pants. I would not, ahhhccmmmm, wish to degrade an entire culture just for the actions of a few but it just seems right to label some people using the best (and ironically, worst) possible epithet. I've been trying to define myself lately with a racist slur but can't decide between 'cracker' or 'redneck'. I really, really wish 'honky' would make a comeback. I love that term. I wonder if white people in the 70's where ever really offended when someone called them 'honky'? How can you be? It just sounds so funny. Like something out of the Wizard of Oz or Chutes and Ladders. Leo Singer was a manager/producer who had a traveling group of midgets doing Vaudeville shows throughout Europe. He contracted with MGM studios to provide the "little people" for the Wizard of Oz. He managed to pull together 124 midgets to appear in the film. That's a lot of midgets. Where do you find 124 midgets? Come to think of it I haven't seen a midget, in real life, in quite a long time. Or an albino. I have seen perhaps one real albino my whole life. Wikipedia's entry on albinism lists 25 "famous people" with albinism. I have heard of one of them - Edward the Confessor, King of England 1042-1066. The Norman Invasion happened in 1066 - if my history is correct. So England was lost by an albino king.? That's not the kind of track record you want as an albino. I've never seen an albino in a porno. I've seen some weird shit in pronos but never an albino.

Monday, August 21, 2006

Things I did not know, until today.

1) Badgers are the largest indigenous carnivores in the UK.

2) All Polar Bears are left handed

3) Chuck Norris' professional karate record is 65-5

4) Gouda cheese originated in Gouda, Holland

5) It is impossible (for most people) to lick your elbow

6) IBM holds the most US patents

7) The longest one sylable word in the English language is "screeched."

8) Canada has more lakes that the rest of the world combined

9) It is impossible to fold any piece of paper in half more than 7 times

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

What? I can't hear you through my ear hair!


Nowadays few things really impress me. I mean really impress me. I ran accross this interesting nugget whilst surfing tonight. The Guiness record holder for Longest Ear Hair, Antony Victor, has ear hair measuring a phenominal 4.53 inches. Oh YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Damn that's good shit!



Also pictured is the dethroned record holder B D Tyagi, who measured only 4.02 inches. Slacker!

Of Note: Mr. Victor, Mr. Tyagi, and the 3rd runner up are all from India. What in the hell is wrong with these people?

It makes a good Christian wonder - Were we really made in the image of God? If so, which ones of us? Does god have such impressive ear hair?

Today's Bucky Theories

1) Illegal Immigrants from Mexico: Although the news has been hammering this issue for several months now they have not picked up on a key link between immigration and global warming. According to Buckinster Skeeter, amateur meteorologist and physiologist, there is a direct correlation between mass immigration and the rising global temperatures. Recent estimates show over 10,000 immigrants per day crossing the border - over 3,000,000 per year. As anyone who has ever stood in a room full of people know, human bodies give off heat. When you take the extra millions of bodies being added to a specific global region the effect is to slightly increase the environmental temperature. When a specific geographical region's temperature is changed is has a chain reaction effect of the global atmosphere. As the atmosphere above the United States is heated, due to increased body heat, it causes a vortex of atmospheric gases in the down-wind (Atlantic) regions. These vortices increase the likelihood and intensity of hurricanes - Hurricane Katrina was, therefore,directly related to, or caused by, illegal Mexican immigration.

2) Atrophy of Reason: Some people are genetically inclined, or socially enhanced, to become smart. These smart people have a higher capacity for reason, learning, and over-all intelligence compared to the average citizen. But just as nature has provided the mechanism of physiological adaptation to environmental stresses, so to can the human brain physiologically adapt to intellectual stimuli. When a person is in proximity to people of higher intelligence, for long periods, they will show signs of enhanced learning capacity and increased ability to reason. Conversely, when exposed to less intelligent people, the brain will adapt to it's intellectual environment and downgrade it's capacity for reason, comprehension, and intelligence. Since the vast majority of people are of below or average intelligence there exists a domino effect of 'dumbing down' the masses.

3) If a man sits around in boxers long enough he will eventually start fondling his balls.

4) Common language Derivative proven through body language- According to Genesis, chapter something, all people spoke the same language and it was not until God "confused" their speech at the tower of Babel that the varied languages of the Earth were produced. This is proven true by the fact that we share common body language. Every culture does a hands out, arms bent, shoulder shrug to say "What" or "I don't know". Every culture nods and shakes their heads to mean yes and no. Every culture does the same jerk off motion to denote "bullshit" or "getting stroked". Since we share this common root of body language it is not doubt we share a common spoken language.

5) Elevator music (or Muzak) was designed to inebriate the masses. In the early 50's a Psychologist, probably of French origin, figured out that certain tones, pace, and rhythm of music generates a buying impulse and complacency in human beings. This has been incorporated in retail stores and government buildings, proven effective, and used for the last 60 years. You are being played!

Monday, August 14, 2006

Desire and it's many forms

As I listen to Mastodon's new album, which comes out next month (don't ask), I find myself having a certain level of anticipation to which I decided to ascribe a name. Here's what I know: I have a desire to purchase this album. My desire is higher than it would be on the release of an average metal band's CD.

While searching for the right term I came up with the following options : hanker, long, ache, yearn, pine, languish, crave, hunger, itch, etc...

According to Dictionary.com they carry the following (paraphrased) definitions

Hanker: Strong, restless desire
Long: Earnest, heartfelt desire
Ache: A desire for something not present
yearn: Strong, melancholy desire
Pine: Lingering, often Nostalgic Desire
Languish: To become downcast or pine away in longing
Crave: eager, intense desire
Hunger: A Strong craving or desire
Itch: restless desire

So If I have this correct...... If I itch for something I desire it restlessly but not very strongly - if I did I would hanker for it. If I pined for something it would be a desire that stuck around for a while and be directed towards something in the past or otherwise not present - if it weren't for all the lingering I'd really just be aching. If I yearn for something without so much melancholy I'm really hankering for it. God forbid I languish over it because that combines a lingering, nostalgic desire with earnesty. I can crave something with eager, intense desire but if my craving is strong then I'm really hungering for it - and that means both strong and intense.

Since the word "desire" surfaces in all the definitions (except 'languish' which is defined by words which are defined by 'desire') I don't see why I need so many variations. Is need and want so important in a human's life that we need so many ways to describe it?

Looking back at the first paragraph of this blog I see a much more appropriate term - anticipate. It means "to look forward to, especially with pleasure". It is unfortunate that 'pleasure' is defined as a " fundamental feeling that is hard to define but that people desire to experience" - as this brings me right back to desire. Oh well.

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Poe

"And then came, as if to my final and irrevocable overthrow, the spirit of PERVERSENESS. Of this spirit philosophy takes no account. Yet I am not more sure that my soul lives, than I am that perverseness is one of the primitive impulses of the human heart --one of the indivisible primary faculties, or sentiments, which give direction to the character of Man. Who has not, a hundred times, found himself committing a vile or a silly action, for no other reason than because he knows he should not? Have we not a perpetual inclination, in the teeth of our best judgment, to violate that which is Law, merely because we understand it to be such?"

E. A. Poe
The Black Cat

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

The Festival of Ozz

So I happened upon a couple free tickets and a VIP package for Ozzfest last weekend. It was a darn good thing that I received a couple of tickets seeing as how I have so many metal head friends here. But shunning the hordes of people chomping at the bit to hang with me I decided to got it alone. Although there are 19 bands on the tour I was really only interested in 3 of them (Dragonforce, Lacuna Coil, and Avenged Sevenfold) so I only attended for the first 3 hours of the mainstage performers.

Dragonforce was very interesting. I've been listening to their album Inhuman Rampage for several weeks now. The first song, Through the Fire and the Flame, has fused itself to my right brain and I cannot gid rid of it. It's in my dreams and on my lips every time I try to whistle. It is a very good metal song - dare I say one of the best. The only glitch with the album is it is heavily laden with overdubs and effects. Live they came across as fast yet seemed just a little thin - due to the lack of overdubs and effects. Still, both guitarists can fuckin shred. They nailed some blazingly, insanely fast solos - complete with lots of tapping, whammy bars, pick sliding, and the whole bag of tricks. They ran around the stage as though they couldn't be standing in one place longer than 10 seconds. At one point it looked like they were all lost - running back and forth, around each other, looking around to see where everyone else in the band is then running over to fill in a gap on the stage. I really appreciate their effort to put on a show instead of just stand there and play. They jump a lot to. And I mean some good old fashioned 80's hair band jumps. The kind where they climb up a little 1 foot riser, and jump just in time to land at the cymbal crash, they even have the head-tilt-back-pull-the-feet-towards-your-butt cheerleading move down pat. Their singer is perhaps one of the best frontmen I've seen in a long time. His vocals were clean and right on spot. They only played 4 songs but they were long. I think they probably averaged about 5-7 minutes each.

Lacuna Coil was next. I like this band for one reason only - the chick singer. Even my wife knows I have a huge crush on her. How could I not? She's brunette, pretty, fairly figurish, and metal. The rest of her band look like a gang of dorky rejects. Their music is tolerable although I don't really like it. Her voice is nice but that's about all the highlights. I've seen them 2 other times and by their 3rd song I was kinda bored with it. Their new single is a cover of a Depeche Mode song (apparently). Before they played it she said "How many of you out there remember a band called Depeche Mode from the eighties?" There was about 2 seconds of dead silence then the crowd kinda muttered just to keep things moving along. The song is fair, at best. I got a good look at her as my seat(s) were close. Her cuteness was slightly effected by the white shirt and tie she wore which matched the guy singer's white shirt and tie. Kinda queer.






Hatebreed: I had to sit through them after Lacuna Coil while I awaited Avenged Sevenfold. Hatebreed, on disc is boring, repetitive, and basically a new version of late 80's Sick of It All. I must give them a lot of credit live though. They got the crowd all riled up - and I don't believe there were all that many Hatebreed fans - their just one of those kind of bands that comes across very energetic, crowd involving, and they sounded decent. It helps that their average song length was around 2:00 minutes. They hammered through at least 15 songs. Not worth buying on CD but worth seeing live if you happen upon them.

Avenged Sevenfold was the band I was most eager to see. They are like a cross between Guns N Roses, Iron Maiden, and Pantera. Very "rock" yet very "metal". They had a huge set on stage - it would appear that these guys have sky rocketed in popularity in the last year - I hadn't heard of them until I looked up the Ozzfest line up to see who was coming. Their album City of Evil is one of my favorites in recent years. Live they pretty much sounded perfect and got a huge reaction from the crowd. They covered Pantera's Walk very well (although it would have been better had I not seen Trivium do it a few months ago). After Walk the guitarists did a solo - everyone else left the stage for about 3-4 minutes. It was an ok solo - but after watching the Dragonforce guys destroy their fretboards it paled in comparison. It has, however, very refreshing to see the re-emergence of the one-man-on-the-stage guitar solo. These guys look like rock n roll. Like a bunch of hardcore metal punks who couldn't decide whether to dress up like LA Guns or the Misfits. Their names are fantastic: M. Shadows, Synyster Gates, Zachy Vengeance, Johhny Christ, and The Rev. How could you go wrong with that?

The fest as a whole was pretty nutty. Ozzfest has it's "village of the dead" which is about 30 trailers selling everything from marijuana flavored lollypops to shirts and beers. The sheer magnitude of the merchandising was awe inspiring. Right on Sharon, suck every dollar you can out of those kinds. Fuck it - if some kid is willing to pay me $4.00 for a lollipop I'll take it. Same goes for the $40 tee-shirts, 5 dollar dart toss to win a prize, $10.00 for a henna tattoo, and so on. It looked like a carnival. A carnival filled with drunk, hot metalheads and metalhead wannabies. They brought their own beer stands - which I imaging was part of the contract with the venue - and they were asking - get this - $11.00 for a "large" beer and $8.00 for a "regular" beer. The "large" was a 16 ounce and the "regular" was a 10 ounce. After I finished mumbling a string of vulgar disbeliefs I cruised over to the VIP section which was run by the venue (amphitheater). There I got a comfy bar seat, a healthy Jameson on the rocks for $8.00, a VIP only restroom with no lines, and hung out with all the rest of the VIP's. It's the only way to go from now on for me.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Find the Point win Jell-O for Life


Billy Joel wrote a song called We didn't start the fire. It's a good song - about the events, political, social, artistic, etc.. - that happened in the world during his lifetime. There are over 120 references made to such events. It's quite impressive when you read the list and realize how much stuff actually took place. Then I start think about cave men. The lives of cave men must have been dull. I now believe that is how and why mankind invented religion - to give themselves something to talk about. Without religion and it's folklore tall tales and marvels what would be passed down from generation to generation? "Gog sat on a porcupine and got gangrene of the ass. One time we were trying to start a fire and Dod's beard caught on fire. A Tasmanian Devil ate your uncles balls off while we was taking a shit over there by that bush. The record for throwing a bullfrog is 87 ft, set by Hak of the Flug clan 77 moons ago. Don't try to cook moths, they dissipate, just eat them raw." So on. No, they had to have something that was worth talking about.... Invisible men, unearthly evil creatures, beautiful women goddesses, heroic strong men who saved people.. Etc. They start out as fascinating tales to wooo the kids and explain the nature around them. Then more advanced civilization, like the Sumerians and Greeks, get a hold of them and all of a sudden there's mass drunken orgies to "honor" the gods and goddesses. Who came up with that idea? Well, instead of sacrificing this little goat why don't we get drunk and fuck each other for a few hours. That will surely satisfy the gods. Everyone knows that gods are pleased by watching a bunch of sloppy humans wriggle around in a giant gang bang. I think some smart ass with an orgy fetish convinced 1 gullible king that this would work and it took off. Why wouldn't it. It combines 2 things humans like to do - have unadulterated, uninhibited sex and please there deity. Surely at some point the deity had to call out "hey... You there... The hairy guy with the 3rd nipple..... Could you please excuse yourself from the orgy. And pick up that cross eyed girl on your way out..... What?..... Well I thought that was a girl...... My apologies sir...... Wait a minute I'm the deity here.... (lightning bolt)..... Sorry for the interruption everyone... Please, back to the fuck fest. But guys please leave each others rods alone..... I'm not that kind of god..... Well then go and find yourself another god..... I don't know, try Buddha.. He's always showing off his nipples..... " There are Buddha statues all over the place. Chinese restaurants, knick knack stores, china town, etc.... A few things about those things seem strange to me. 1) Does my deity want me to worship him by directing my attention to a piece of plastic I paid $2.75 for from a street vendor? 2) You don't see many other religions with little statues of their gods to pray too - Christianity doesn't count, as we pray to a symbol, not a likeness (except for catholic crosses and their very white man, long haired Jesus depictions, which really don't count either), 3) Couldn't they pick a well built, muscular, physically fit deity to offer worship to? What's so divine about a 450 pound Chinamen? Well, come to think of it, a 450 pound Chinamen is quite rare, damn near nonexistent. Ok, I take it back. I firmly believe that every Chinese person learns the art of owning and operating an American Chinese food restaurant at some point - maybe a junior college or something. How is it that no matter where you go in this country - New York City or Alabaster, Alabama - you know exactly what to expect from a Chinese restaurant? EXACTLY! There's little difference in the vast majority of the food. The same goes with Mexican food joints. Why are there no American food places all over the world. They'd have the exact same hamburger, cube steak, chili, and club sandwich. Perhaps there is a need going unfulfilled. Perhaps my purpose in life is to start the American food sub culture around the world. A single supplier, a single menu, a single need fulfilled - If I'm not mistaken, that is how the AntiChrist gets his start. By uniting the world in peace and religion through the use of low cost, cookie cutter 'ethnic' restaurants. At least that's what the Gideon Bible in my last hotel room told me.. Although I'm a little leary of it's authenticity as it was published by someone by the name of Jangjoong and it started with "In Beginning, God made 15 different food dishes using same 5 ingredient."

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

The Metal World Will Never Be The Same


Today is a sad day for me. The Heavy Metal world has lost a band who was at the forefront of their genre. Masters of the 3 chord riff, perpetuaters of the blue jean jacket, kings of metal cheese - Goat Horn has called it quits. Yes - Jason Decay, Brandon Wars, and Steel Rider will no longer carry the metal world on their shoulders. Seldom have 3 talented rockers crafted such metallic masterpieces as Rotten Roll, Wasted Warrior, or Right Heavy Metal. These guys have been an inspiration..... A driving force.... A divine gift of metaldom in a time when every band plays the same metalcore or death metal. Goat Horn re-animated the sound of metal powerhouses such as Saxon, Raven, King Kobra, and Anvil. What will the rock world be like without these guys?

Jason Decay describes the breakup as "sort of like breaking up with a really hot girlfriend that you love banging, but deep down inside you know you're not right for each other and you don't like the person she is or the person you have become." And Mr. Decay would know. Take one look him and you can tell he has bagged a lot of women in his career.

On the brighter side, Jason Decay will continue to raise the bar as a singer and bass player in his newly formed band Cauldron. It promises to "continue down the Goat Horn path", according to Mr. Decay. I can't wait for the first release. I may actually camp out at Best Buy so I can be the first one to get the new CD.

GOAT HORN - R.I.P.

Condolences,

Buckminster Skeeter
president, Goat Horn Fan Club

p.s. NOTE: It's just not a REAL Heavy Metal photo without the half loaf of wheat bread on the mini fridge behind the band!