Buckminster Skeeter: Wanna buy a watch?

Friday, August 25, 2006

Find the Point - Lose Your Soul

I'm becoming increasingly skeptical about the concept of 'losing' ones soul. If there is such a thing as a soul is it possible to actually lose it? I may lose my watch or lose my wallet but that's because it is easy to misplace a physical object. I suppose I could 'sell' my soul - for what? I've never been given an offer for my soul. Perhaps it is not as valuable as I thought. I tried to pawn it the other day but I just got a dirty look from the toothless man at the pawn shop counter. Toothless people have a special place in my heart. I'm torn between laughing hysterically, feeling sorry for them because they were perhaps never taught decent hygiene, and champing at the bit (pun fully intended) to ask them how they eat a pork chop. Chops, as everyone knows, are smaller cuts from the loin primal cut. There are blade chops, rib chops, loin chops, sirloin chops, butterfly chops, and boneless chops. Do you know what kind of chops you're eating when you get a plate of pork chops? You better start asking. Do we eat beef chops? In Korea dog meat is common and I understand it tastes good. The troubling part is that dogs are beaten to death, over a long period of time, to make them more tender. This is fucking barbaric! Those slants who practice this should have their souls lost. Notice how I use the epithet 'slants' here. I find it perfectly reasonable to throw out a racist slur when describing the less desirable of any race. I may, for example, dine with a fellow business partner who just so happens to be an Indian. But the Dot-Headed Odor Monkey waiter just spilled soup on my pants. I would not, ahhhccmmmm, wish to degrade an entire culture just for the actions of a few but it just seems right to label some people using the best (and ironically, worst) possible epithet. I've been trying to define myself lately with a racist slur but can't decide between 'cracker' or 'redneck'. I really, really wish 'honky' would make a comeback. I love that term. I wonder if white people in the 70's where ever really offended when someone called them 'honky'? How can you be? It just sounds so funny. Like something out of the Wizard of Oz or Chutes and Ladders. Leo Singer was a manager/producer who had a traveling group of midgets doing Vaudeville shows throughout Europe. He contracted with MGM studios to provide the "little people" for the Wizard of Oz. He managed to pull together 124 midgets to appear in the film. That's a lot of midgets. Where do you find 124 midgets? Come to think of it I haven't seen a midget, in real life, in quite a long time. Or an albino. I have seen perhaps one real albino my whole life. Wikipedia's entry on albinism lists 25 "famous people" with albinism. I have heard of one of them - Edward the Confessor, King of England 1042-1066. The Norman Invasion happened in 1066 - if my history is correct. So England was lost by an albino king.? That's not the kind of track record you want as an albino. I've never seen an albino in a porno. I've seen some weird shit in pronos but never an albino.


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